Dear Feminism,
There was a time that I believed we were friends. We bonded over our ideals, and for the longest time I believed you had my back. You told me that you supported all women and that, most importantly, you supported equality for both sexes. I did not know then that your statements could not have been further from the truth.
Perhaps it was your indecisiveness that tipped me off, or the way in which you treated others. However it came to pass, after our many years together, I became skeptical of your nature. Like a good friend I defended you—and those who supported you. I would not believe the things people would say. How could I? You were there for me when I was at my lowest, and you had given me hope. At least, that was what I let myself believe.
I think that things truly began to unravel, however, when I met your friends. I watched as they spread misinformation about the human condition. I sat through college classes that poisoned the minds of others against men and white people, and I tried to tell myself that these people were just isolated bigots. I watched as they downplayed the well-documented violence against men and reframed history to paint women in a more sympathetic light.
I was bullied in grade school by both males and females. However, the most brutal treatment came from females. The sexual harassment, the physical abuse, the verbal abuse—most all of it came from women. I had heard my father tell stories of how his mother brutally beat him and his six siblings. I knew that women could be just as violent as men, and yet here you were telling me and others that men were the primary aggressors. That men, and more specifically white men, were the cause of all society’s problems.
This was simply not reasonable. You were telling me that women could be strong and capable but apparently not capable of violence or bad behavior. I had always felt that equal rights meant equal treatment but also personal responsibility. What you were telling me was that women should have rights but never be held as responsible as men when they were out of line. I simply could not go along with such lies about human beings and the world we live in.
I’d known since I was a young teen that men could be abused. I knew they were mistreated just like women. But you had no room in your heart for men that were victimized by women. When I realized that, I stopped hanging out with you. I could no longer stand with you on an ideological level because despite the fact that we supported many of the same things, you only had room in your heart for certain kinds of people, and I was no longer one of them.
It was only when I stepped away from you that I could see the damage you were doing. Countless lives were destroyed because you told them that you were the path to equality, without ever expressing how we were to achieve this goal. So women went out and did everything from protesting, to burning buildings, to beating up men, all to further the cause. It was not all of your friends, but often enough it was those in positions of power. It was the teachers, the politicians, law enforcement, and those in social sciences. They moved to presume that men were inherently violent, instead of expanding equal responsibility to women.
Instead of realizing the vices of men and women, and understanding how to improve our interactions, you created a war between the sexes. This war continues to rage on, and may ultimately destroy us, but I do see hope. Others like me are waking up and seeing what you’ve done. I believe in rights for women, but also for men. I see them as my equals, and I will not have them as my mascots or as subservient little dogs forced to walk on eggshells. No, they are human beings.
It is for this reason that I have decided to formally break up with you. Your various beliefs are conflicting, and your actions are either violent, meaningless, or outright indecisive. I cannot hope to express a message of real equality among your ranks. I wish that I could say that I wish you happiness, but I can’t. Your demise will come from your decisions, and you’ve had a good long run. I can only say that I hope you have a happy retirement, and don’t forget to let the door hit you on the way out.
Sincerely,
Rachel Edwards
- Angry White Men - August 4, 2015
- Amy Everson is a fucking lunatic - June 6, 2015
- Honey Badger Radio: The unkindest cut - January 16, 2015
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