I saw this yesterday on the MensRights subreddit:
What’s the opposite of a white knight?
The discussion centered on trying to see if there was a female equivalent of the man who always rides to the rescue of a women from all the brutish men menacing her. Was the woman defending men form all the haries out there really a thing?
The consensus was that threre wasn’t, but there certainly were woemn who would stand up for men, just as there are men who will stand up for women, when they see injustice. Then someone made this very insightful comment:
[–]Eulabeia 14 points15 points16 points 14 hours ago
“special snowflake”
at least that’s the term reddit feminists like to use
The OP of the thread rejoined:
[–]agenderAsexual[S] 3 points4 points5 points 14 hours ago
…Ouch. That’s a harsh term. Do they use this on /r/Feminism?
And Eulabia answered:
[–]Eulabeia 4 points5 points6 points 14 hours ago
Not sure but it definitely gets used a lot on the SRS subs.
And here was the insight:
[–]A_User 3 points4 points5 points 4 hours ago
This is the SRS term, and it’s basically code for slut.
Any woman who treats a man like like a real equal, and not feminism’s idea of equal, they call a ‘special snowflake’ – a term that implies she’s doing it to stand out. That she’s doing it for male attention.
They slut shame her. They clandestinely call her a whore.
I hope the rank misogyny of this feminist tactic is apparent to all, but if it isn’t, please raise your hand and we will discuss it in enough detail to make it obvious.
- The Woman Card - May 2, 2016
- Frat boy bachelorettes and the invasion of gay bars - April 15, 2016
- “Not my kid….” - February 22, 2016
by 
Even beyond that, I have to admit the term somewhat mystifies me. Is the implication then, that it’s better *not* to be unique? That nodding your head with the consensus and “going along” is the preferred option? What does that say about the feminist movement?
Hmm, I’ve never heard a feminist use “special snowflake” like that, though it wouldn’t surprise me. A few times I’ve read them refer to a woman sympathetic to male issues as a “collaborator”, referring to patriarchy I guess. And a few times even a “MRA-sympathizer” or “-collaborator”. If she’s transgender, “entitled man” or some other shit like that. But mostly it’s patronizing psychobabble like “false consciousness” or “internalized misogyny” rather than direct insults.
They do like their bullying name-calling don’t they.
I still don’t know what all the ‘fedora’ stuff is about. Especially because it always reminds me of Noah Brands picture on SWATM (when it was it’s own site), which was of him wearing a fedora and a blazer.
The fedora thing is curious. I think it’s just a man-hating attack on men trying to look cool, like the man-hating attacks on the Superbowl.. God forbid a man enjoy something, like dressing tendy or watching sports.
Yet another example of feminism believing women should be free to make their own choices…as long as they choose to agree with feminism.
Harrowm
“Hmm, I’ve never heard a feminist use “special snowflake” like that, though it wouldn’t surprise me. ”
It seems to be less prevalent now. Another one was “Not My Nigel”. In fact there were linked. If a commenter said men were sexist of course but hers wasn’t, she was called out for “not my Nigeling”. And if a woman let slip any doubt about Patrairchy, she was told she had just not expereinced enough, maybe she was shileded, that she was a “special snowflake”.
Special snoflake’ was probably some grade school teracher’s expression to point out how each snowflake is unique, and it got co-opted as a sneer.
I think there may be an even more sinister and subtle thing going on with “special snowflake.”
A woman can take her value from her womanhood, which she shares with other women, or her personhood–her personal values, choices and actions.
A “special snowflake” is thus a woman who takes her value not from something she shares with other women, what other women give to her and in turn she must uphold, but developing her own person.
TB, I think that’s right, I think that’s at the root of the slut-shaming in general too – punisshing someone for escaping the plantation. It’s a form of gender policing.
The ‘special snowflake’ thing does indeed come from everyone hearing so damn much in school about how everyone is special, often using that snowflake metaphor, that at least my whole generation and probably the next one too got sick of hearing it and ended up incredibly jaded about the whole thing. As an insult it isn’t exclusively or even primarily used by feminists, but they seem to have their own particular meaning in mind when they choose to employ it. Generally speaking, it is used to suggest that someone is trying to present themselves as unique and special when they really aren’t, possibly by being deliberately ‘quirky,’ or that a sheltered upbringing has led them to see themselves as more special or important than they actually are.
I agree with Harrow that ‘internalized misogyny’ and ‘false consciousness’ are far more common attacks. I distinctly recall an occasion on which a woman going by the name InuitInua uploaded a Youtube video attacking Anita Sarkeesian’s claims about video games and was immediately dog piled by male, feminist game journalists who used those terms to in effect tell her that she was not allowed to have a dissenting opinion.
Also, the fedora thing didn’t start with feminism, or even with women. It’s an extension of the neckbeard thing, which they also stole, and like the neckbeard thing, it’s about insulting people for being stupid hipsters with no sense of fashion. The kind of people who would neglect to properly maintain a beard (hence having hair all over their neck instead of just on their face even though the beard isn’t big enough for that), or who would wear a fedora with casual clothes because the saw how cool it looks in old film noir movies and think it will look as good on them with no work on the rest of the outfit. Basically, it’s calling people out for having a particular type of terrible fashion sense and extends to calling out the types of people who most visibly flaunt this horrible non-style.
HDF,
:immediately dog piled by male, feminist game journalists who used those terms to in effect tell her that she was not allowed to have a dissenting opinion.”
Oh the irony. What a perfect example – men shutting a woman up in the name of feminism.
Guess which group of idiots have picked up on the whole “fedora” thing?
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-awesome-things-with-inexplicably-bad-reputations_p2/
Peterman, it was only a matter of time.
What? I could’ve sworn fedoras were a hipster thing, not an MRA thing. Though I don’t know how much overlap there are between those groups, I assume it’s low.
It’s simple, Druk: everyone that they have mindless moral rage at are in the same category, entitled “Obstacles to my utopia (and I’m absolutely nothing like the Armageddonist religious types I also despise)”.
“Gender traitor” I’ve seen used. The FTB/Atheism+ crowd seem to use “chill girl” a lot.
It is quite funny how “you’re only a feminist so you can get laid” is HATE when used against male feminists – but “you’re only feminist-critical so boys will like you” is somehow perfectly acceptable.
Druk: “What? I could’ve sworn fedoras were a hipster thing, not an MRA thing. Though I don’t know how much overlap there are between those groups, I assume it’s low.”
Yeah, I don’t get it either. Like I said above the only person in the “gendersphere” who I’ve seen in a fedora is a feminist; the editor of the good men project no less.
Adiabat, do oyu think Ally fogg is coming to some kind of crisis of faith over there? You all are catching him in the inconsistencies of his world view.
Have you seen Elly Tams take on his Guardian piece? I can’t get to her site at the moment but here’s the same article at AVfM:
http://www.avoiceformen.com/misandry/sycophants/ally-fogg-goes-native/
I hope he comes out on the right side of this. i had a lot of hope for him, he was saying a lot of the right things for awhile, but now I am beginning to feel like that was a front.
About fedoras: The fedora has become frequently associated with nerdy, low-status, unmasculine, socially awkward men. Because its the sort of thing a person who wants to look more interesting but isn’t hip to the latest fashions might gravitate towards, probably.(Some people with the sort of sensory problems common on the autistic spectrum find the sensation of being surrounded or enclosed pleasant or calming, or just like having something to help them control the amount of light hitting their eyes, so that may contribute a bit as well.)
The “MRAs wear fedoras” thing is simply a way of accusing them of having those traits. If Internet feminism had been a thing in the 80s, feminists would be talking about how MRAs all have big coke bottle glasses and pocket protectors instead. If the genders were somehow reversed, they’d be sneering about how MRAs are fat, hairy lesbians with buzzcuts and flannel shirts.
It means “MRAs don’t fit their gender role, and that’s contemptible, my previous claims to oppose those gender roles notwithstanding.”
That Ally Fogg article was REALLY disappointing. Now I’m wondering if his earlier stuff was just him trying to position himself as someone who supposedly treats male issues seriously and sympathetically so that his subsequent Kimmel/Schwyzer schtick will seem more credible.
I really hope not; I quite liked the guy, or at least the guy he acted like.
John, think you’ve nailed the fedora thing. It’s just plain old hypocritical reversion to juvenile cliqueishness, which despite all the high-flown ideological posturing, is the beating heart of modern feminism.
I think there’s an added element of failure implied in the fedora insult. The difference between today’s low-status fedora wearers and previous decades’ low-status pocket protector users is that the fedora is an attempt to increase one’s masculine appeal that almost always has exactly the opposite effect, whereas the pocket protector was a sign of someone who just didn’t care what he looked like.
The fedora has become a symbol of the guy who is low status, knows he’s low status, tries to alter that by putting on a masculine hat, but does it so poorly (e.g. picks a cheap, unflattering hat and pairs it with clothing that also doesn’t look good, especially with that particular hat) that he actually decreases his already-low status.
It’s an unintentional irony, which separates it from anything hipster. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it’s an attempt to feel more like a film noir or comic book hero, both in the respect such figures demand from other men around them, and in their attractiveness to women.
The insult, then, is meant to imply that MRAs are not only low-status men who don’t fit their gender norm, but that they also react to that fact in an ultimately counterproductive way, trying to escape the misery of being a dork by clinging clumsily to a gender role that, according to feminists, no one should want to embody anyway (because it’s misogynist, or something).
Theodmann, that sounds about right. it makes sense. I am sure they imagine they are very clever.
Holy damn, that’s way too much baggage for a freakin’ hat.
Ginkgo: “Adiabat, do oyu think Ally fogg is coming to some kind of crisis of faith over there? You all are catching him in the inconsistencies of his world view.”
We are catching him out, but I don’t think he would agree with that. He’s had to change his stated view a couple of time to dodge the criticism but I don’t know if he realises he’s doing that; At one point he was bewildered at how people were “misunderstanding him”, despite them directly quoting the things he said.
“I hope he comes out on the right side of this. i had a lot of hope for him, he was saying a lot of the right things for awhile, but now I am beginning to feel like that was a front.”
As much as I criticise him I do have some sympathy for Ally. He’s trying to walk a fine line and appear sympathetic to both feminists and the ‘men’s rights’ side. I don’t think it’s just a front, it’s just that to keep the feminists on board he has to appear to be more on ‘their side’. Quite frankly, the ‘men’s side’ is more in need of an ally like Ally and are willing to put up with more; plus they are used to people criticising them. If Ally treated feminists like he treats non-feminists they would all just go back to their echo-chambers (In fact most of the feminists who commented there when he joined ftb have already done that).
I don’t know how much of what he says he thinks is what he really thinks, or is just an attempt to keep people happy. Quite frankly, his argument that feminism has no influence is ridiculous. But then he does backtrack and say he “has no time for banknote feminism”, and states how feminism has been absorbed by the patriarchy (hence does have influence). Maybe he’s aware that it is that part of feminism (the ‘prominant’ and ‘influential’ part) that the MRM is criticising. Then again, maybe not.
He’s an enigma.