Does this all have to do with just video games and porn? Possibly, but its probably not the entire picture.
As a guy who is single, I can not entirely agree with this conclusion. I know that out of the overall population, a majority of men that will do anything they can to seek out a stable relationship, as they do not like being single. So, I asked several of my single male friends this very question and came across the possible reason of why men are generally cooler with being single than women:
- Low investment, low return.
This tends to be the way that men deal with most of their relationships. When a man hangs out with another man, he’ll watch sports, play poker, talk trash, grab a few drinks, and maybe talk about whether he’s hooking up. This takes care of most of a man’s basic needs – for companionship, for laughs, for fun.
As I took a deeper look on how men generally coped, I also found that men are perfectly content being single are satisfied with their female friendships. I also found that there are more men than women, who are okay with low investment, low return. That’s all.
- Self-definition.
Men are more likely to define themselves by their careers – What do I do? How much do I earn? What kind of car do I drive? How big is my TV?
This is unfortunate and short-sighted because nobody dies thinking that he wishes he had a Sumsung 78″ LED Curved 2160 p Smart 4K Ultra HDTV instead of a 45″ Vizio.
Women in general, are more emotional and intuitive, more likely to define their lives by their relationships. So when they lack a partner, they’ll be disproportionately sadder than men, who just bury themselves in more work and (sometimes) play.
Then again, many of my smart, strong, successful friends also bury themselves in their work for a decade, and emerge from their cocoon of success and travel, only to learn that they’re really, really lonely.
- Communication styles.
Men need more help, yet, will not ask for it; women ask for more help and will demand it from everyone. Nowhere is that clearer than in the realm of relationships.
– Over twice as many women take anti-depressants, compared to men. I remember reading somewhere that it was about 1 in 6 women vs. 1 in 48 men.
– 90% of the self-help market in bookstores is for women. Seriously, apart from “The Game” have you ever seen a relationship book for men that’s sold in airport bookstores?
In other words, even if men feel the emotional need to connect, they rarely reach out to do so with each other, with their families, and so on. Women talk about their feelings with much greater frequency and intensity, further feeding the perception/reality that they care more about relationships.
- Sex.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
There are a decent number of men out there who don’t really desire the same kind of relationship women do. Their needs are met by their male friendships and their careers and the last thing they want to do is hold a purse when shopping at Nordstrom.
You can tell who these men are because when they call, its generally once a week to hook up and that’s all. These are guys that will play on their terms, and no one else’s. This is the true power of a man’s ability to separate sex and love is another valid reason he’s not terribly upset when he’s single.
- Expectations about relationships.
This is the most important point of all. Women expect their relationships to be transcendent. They expect the man to illuminate and inspire. You remember “Eat, Pray, Love,” right? “You don’t need a man. You need a champion.”
Guys don’t work that way. We want someone who is attractive, who doesn’t criticize us or tell us how much we need to change, who we can spend lots of time with without getting bored, who we can bring around our friends and families with minimal incident.
As a result, most men can date lots of women.
Elizabeth Gilbert, in her follow-up to “Eat, Pray, Love,” called “Committed”, explores these outlandish expectations that Western women have for love – which are nothing like what women in other cultures experience. As a result, Western women are very disappointed in their men, whereas men aren’t nearly as disappointed in women.
In other words, we think women are fine as they are. We just hate the fact that women need us to change so much. These biological and societal hoop that some women love to make about men, in short only hurts other women. Why convolute this already challenging game of cat and mouse by adding a watchdog.
Maybe, instead of hating men for being ‘Men’, learn from them instead. You can only be happy when you do not assume that the object of life is emotional happiness.
If there’s anything I missed, please let me know. Guys, please chime in here.
The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.
Thomas Paine
- Gyno-dominance - February 7, 2016
- Definitely the only argument against political correctness. - January 30, 2016
- Dangerous labels. - January 26, 2016
by 
Women are embarrassed to be single. Their not-single friends point at them and laugh. They feel like a product on the shelf that no one wants to purchase. Men could give a fuck.
Pleasure-Pain,Reward-Punishment,etc……It comes down to that.Guys are looking at the whole picture,they look at their parents generation and they look at their fellow male friends in states of engagement,marriage and divorce…..Guys will stay single if it is the ‘less painful’ option.
Women believe they are entitled to whatever man they desire. Even the most hideous of the female breed at their core think that movie stars should drop at their feet. My ex took off with my business partner, and he threw her to the curb 3 days before common law vesting. Now she is stuck with a nice guy, but with 1/100 of the status of myself and the business partner she took off with into the sunlit uplands. Now she is stuck having to keep him, in the way she has always demanded men should have taken care of her. As for me, life is perfect, tons of single gals out there who have few options because guys like me now rule the demographic. It does make for fun times.
I feel as a man gets older, like me, they don’t weather singleness after 25 years of Marriage for very long. They usually whither and die within a few years while women seem to survive for decades. I don’t do recreational dating. It isn’t about sex so much anymore as Companionship.
Danny what you are missing is close friends. Read this article (and especially the comments) and it will probably hit closer to home for you (it’s an Australian blog):
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/millions-of-men-have-no-close-friends-20151116-gl03cp.html
Here’s a good comment from it:
“In my opinion, marriage and having children are the big two reasons why men don’t have many friends. You start off with friends when you’re single, but then demands from your wife and kids take up most of your spare time, so you don’t have the time to do stuff with your mates like you used to, and you just sort of lose contact with them and drift apart. That’s all fine unless your wife leaves you, and then you’re left with nothing, which can feel very empty. But if that happens, you just need to find some new friends and life goes on. Joining things like outdoor activites and sports clubs are the best way to go.”
The reason is because women are empty shells. They don’t really have any hobbies, aspirations (other than traveling or eating food) as men do. Men want to explore the universe, win the next championship, drive fast cars, read tons of books on the same topic, discover something that no one before them has discovered.
Women just want to sit there and cuddle. No wonder women are more unhappy without a partner who can do all the work for her.