The following article is an English translation of an original article by El Tivípata, a Spanish blogger specialized in antifeminism. Originally published on 27th May 2015. Published with his explicit permission. Link to the original in Spanish:
http://eltivipata.blogspot.com.es/2015/05/el-calzonazos.html
On one of those absurd reality TV programs we are used to, a great house was being offered as a prize. This happened during the first years of the second millennium, when the real estate bubble hadn’t burst yet (although it was so filled with speculation, dubious contracts, changes of land use and other urban corruptions that it would not be long until that happened). Housing prices were so high that what our Constitution considered a right had become the privilege of a few lucky individuals. So the lure of having a big house, especially one that would be completely paid for, appealed to lots of participants.
They had to participate in pairs (either sentimental couples, friends, etc). Undoubtedly, one of the most popular couples in the show, due to their singularity and media favor, were Mónica (a.k.a. the Virgin) and David. The way Mónica controlled and diminished her partner’s integrity would have triggered every alarm in the room, if only the owner of such a dictatorial and degrading attitude had had a couple of X chromosomes. Mónica decided when David should speak and when he should remain silent. His opinion was disregarded and scorned by her. Insults were common, and always one-sided. Humiliations were constant, even in front of other participants (not mentioning the cameras that were recording such vexation for the enjoyment of 3-4 million viewers), and she would remind him who was the thinking member of the couple, and who was supposed to just shut up and obey. Is this what I taught you? Haven’t you learned anything I told you? Do I have to train you better? And the guy would just tilt his head, accepting the humiliation, accompanied by the looks (mixing pity and mockery) of the other participants.
In order to exert her rigid control, the Virgin wouldn’t waste any occasion to remind David how his life was before he met her. You had no friends, you were all alone, you were nobody, and she would threaten to leave him, so he would go back to that situation. She would repeat such a mantra again and again, not only in the heat of an argument, but also during daily conversation, until those words would drill a hole in his self-esteem, like a jackhammer. Even during conversations with participants, he would repeat, like an automaton, that he was nobody, he was alone until he met her.
The worst thing was the reaction that this situation triggered in everybody else. David was not a victim in a psychological abuse scenario: he was just a henpecked husband, a spiritless half-man. A spineless coward, incapable of “putting his wife in her place”. The absence of empathy towards the victim (when he has a Y chromosome) was obvious in the mockery of participants, talk show guests and viewers towards that pathetic, miserable man. Obviously, this was a symptom of desensitization towards a terrible reality: the abuse of men by women. The difference is staggering; if the roles had been reversed, Mónica would have deserved our pity, while David would have been shown deep contempt.
The figure of the henpecked man is very common. We all know at least one. We all have a friend that could be described with such a terrible term. We should consider that our henpecked friend is more than likely just a victim of manipulation and control by his partner. A victim of abuse.
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You bet, and it’s a very old tradition. The longest running men’s support group on the planet, in fact, was literally called ‘The Henpecked Club’ which ran continuously in England and Europe from the early 1800s to recent decades.
Here’s a little more about the club and its history:
The Henpecked Club – a 200 year fellowship of husbands
Enjoyed your book, Peter. Revelatory!
Hi Peter, I’ve checked gynocentrism.com, awesome job you’re doing there. I’ve seen that you offer Spanish translations of some of your articles as well, and that you have published this one that I did for AVfM en Español:
http://spa.avoiceformen.com/politicas-sobre-sexo/tradicionalismo-vs-tradicionalismo/
I just wanted to offer you my help if you need more of your material translated into Spanish. Glad to help 🙂
Thanks for the kind words and the offer to translate, El Ratel.
Unfortunately my Spanish comprehension is poor, but I’ve been told the translation of that article you did was good quality.
I don’t have another translation in mind, but if you see an article on the site that you are willing to tackle please feel free – I can add to the growing list of Spanish articles.
https://gynocentrism.com/2015/10/10/ginocentrismo-com-articulos-en-espanol/
Peter, I’ve translated this article:
http://www.avoiceformen.com/series/unknown-history-of-misandry/the-henpecked-club/
here:
http://spa.avoiceformen.com/misandria/el-club-de-los-calzonazos/
Thank you El Ratel – have added it to the list of translated articles here:
https://gynocentrism.com/2015/10/10/ginocentrismo-com-articulos-en-espanol/
Peter, you’ll find a translation of your excellent article “Chasing the dragon” here:
http://spa.avoiceformen.com/ginocentrismo/persiguiendo-al-dragon/
Gracias El Ratel. I will add it to the Espanol section of Gynocentrism.com
Apreciado 🙋
It would be easier to count the married men who are not henpecked, for they would be the smallest minority. Women simply cannot contain this childish and selfish type of behaviour and it tends to be ingrained in almost all of them, save for just a few.
And then there is the Skimmington Ride version of male victim shaming. El Ratel refers to this dynamic in the article. https://hetpat.wordpress.com/2012/08/07/tyrones-21st-century-skimmington-ride/
A bit more on the Skimington FWIW:
“Stang riding” as punishment for male victims of intimate partner violence
One doesn’t have to go to reality TV to see this. One need only go shopping and watch the couples there. Invariably the pattern you will see is that she is making all the decisions, she is telling him where to go and what to do…and he is pushing the cart (and generally paying). I have seen, more times that I can count, women verbally berating the men they are with in public, without remorse, and no one thinks anything of it.
Yet were the genders reversed, we would hear how it’s psychological abuse-and also how it’s a “real man’s” job to intervene when a man abuses a woman that way.