Since the May 23 killings in California, feminists have been trying to exploit the tragic deaths as political fodder by ignoring the reality of Elliot Rodger’s rampage and substituting their own.
Many women have participated in a hysterical rush to vomit hateful, male-blaming rhetoric interspersed with orgasmic renditions of female victimhood and helplessness.
Unable to persuade using fact and reason, they instead have quoted inflated statistics and misogynistic portrayals of women as incapable children who can’t ever go outside without fearing that the manpocalypse will rain down upon them at any moment.
Men and women alike have tried to insert some common sense into the dialogue, but to no avail. Feminists determined to polarize the sexes have shown time and again that they are either too stubborn or too stupid to value information over ideology. They’ve decided that exploiting a tragedy that has nothing to do with them or their beliefs would be a good way to impose them on the rest of us. They’ve decided to use it as a tool to silence discussion of men’s issues. One such example is this Daily Kos article, which boils down to the demand: “Here, take these personal anecdotes to guilt-trip you into letting feminists order you around on a grand scale.”
For those feminists who feel so entitled, I have a suggestion.
Fuck the Hell Off.
No, nothing else to go with that. We don’t need you or your petty, dehumanizing bullshit.
Just. Fuck. Off.
For those feminists who think ignoring female violence is the answer to violence against women.
Whatever fucking place your sense of entitlement comes from, it’s stupid. Women have no more right to abuse than men do. It’s not less violent when they do it. It’s not less harmful when they do it. It’s not less wrong. Do you think that no other women see through this bullshit? That we are willing to throw our fathers, husbands, brothers, sons, and male friends to the wolves simply because you want to use the perception of female weakness as political ammo? Stop being so exploitative and grow up. Neither women nor violence are your personal territory. You have no business treating them as such. Take your misogynistic, misandric, domineering attitude and Fuck the Hell Off.
For those feminists who try to use shaming tactics to shut down discussion of men’s issues.
You know, that thing you do where you damsel (sometimes by proxy) for sympathy and then try to use it as an off button to silence discussion about men’s experiences? It’s abusive, and you need to cut it out. You know that other thing you do where you also damsel (again sometimes by proxy) so you can demonize men in a way that looks less direct? It’s still direct, and some of us can see through that shit like it was made of the same easily shattered glass as you are. Don’t even bother.
It’s not your prerogative to tell men when, where, and how they’re allowed to exist. You’re not entitled to decide the validity or value of their experiences, and you’re not entitled to tell them to quietly put up with your use of masturbatory victim-upmanship to try to make your mudslinging look innocent. If you want to have a private discussion, have it in private. If you decide to publicly air your fear and hatred of men all over the internet, you don’t get to decide how others who read it respond to it. Pick your whiny, pampered little tantrum-throwing princess ass up off the floor and Fuck the Hell Off.
For those feminists who try to excuse female violence by calling women weak and female violence rare.
Let’s start with the facts. If there’s an inequality between the two, it’s not that there’s less female violence against men. Women initiate partner violence more often than men do, and feminists have known this for decades.
For decades, your movement has been using “Us and only us!” and “Women have it worse” as cattle prods to keep the focus on women as victims, to the exclusion of abused men and boys. While you lament the feminist-invented image of authorities excusing male violence against women, you’ve actively worked to make your scenario a reality when the abuser is female. No, there’s no equivalence; male violence is condemned in our society while female violence is tolerated and joked about, even when it’s deadly. Female victims are the focus of massive, government-funded assistance efforts in our society while male victims are marginalized at best, ridiculed at the lowest, or blamed as abusers at worst. You want to talk about inequality? Count the number of women who have called the police for help when a male partner was in the background screaming death threats and beating the hell out of them only to find themselves under arrest as the “primary aggressor” when the cops arrive because of their sex and because their abuser claims to be afraid of them. Take your solipsistic, entitled damselling and Fuck the Hell Off.
For those feminists who feel entitled to authoritatively demonize one entire sex on behalf of the other because your feelings are hurt.
Seriously, get the fuck over it. So you can name something bad a man did. You and your pet peeve are not unique among human beings. Some people are assholes who do evil or carelessly harmful things to each other. That your particular asshole was a man does not make you the target of systematic oppression by men, nor does it make you the official spokesperson for all women. You’re not the entire female sex. You’re not entitled to decide whether the rest of us are angry or anything else about our experiences, opinions, and thoughts. Get the fuck over yourself and Fuck the Hell Off. And for the record, if you’re gearing up for a buzzword- and rhetoric-filled retort, don’t bother. Everything that you’re going to tell me that male society uses to put women in their place is what women also do to men for the same reasons. Women sexually harass men, women objectify men, women rape men and boys, women mock men, women batter men, and women stalk men. If you’ve got “but it’s different when they do it because Patriarchy” waiting in the wings, I don’t want to hear it. Just Fuck the Hell Off instead.
For those feminists who are angry that their achievements are not recognized and their beliefs are not accepted by anti-feminist women.
You do not get a gold star for denying women’s agency to act on our own behalf, for presuming to speak for us without our consent, for badgering and belittling our male loved ones, or for fighting to codify into law the most hateful and discriminatory aspects of your religious beliefs system. We aren’t thankful, but we’ll be relieved when you stop trying to inflate yourselves above and beyond your actual importance by whoring us out as political ammo. If you feel outraged and offended because women are not grateful for being used by your movement without our consent, Fuck the Hell Off.
For those feminists who find it difficult to figure out the difference between sex and rape.
Let’s make this easy.
Sex is a mutual act of intimate affection between two people who engage in it of their own accord.
Rape is when one person deliberately contravenes another’s refusal to willingly engage in mutual sex either by force or by taking advantage of a condition that eliminates the ability to refuse, such as abuse of compelling authority or the victim being unconscious from intoxication.
Sex doesn’t magically become rape after the fact because you’re embarrassed that other people might know you did it. It doesn’t become rape because you wish you’d made a different decision the night before. Your decision doesn’t become not your decision because you decided to have a beer.
Rape doesn’t magically become “unwanted sex” when the person refusing is a guy and the person forcing or coercing is a woman. It doesn’t magically become less wrong, less harmful, or less painful and confusing. It just becomes a problem feminists aren’t willing to face, or even acknowledge.
Any bullshit you are saying about it being worse when men do it to women is rape apologism. Any bullshit you are trying to use to differentiate at all between the act of forcing sex depending on gender is rape apologism. Any bullshit you might say about derailing, as if a discussion about abuse must be segregated by sex, is rape apologism. If you’re trying to come up with a way to use buzzwords or phrases like “institutionalized” or “gendered attack” as a counter to this, you’re a rape apologist. It is not men but your ever-changing dialogue that is fucking up gender relations, so you can take your evasive femsplaining and Fuck the Hell Off.
This is not hard. Learn that you’re not the spokeswoman for your entire gender, and you’re not entitled to dictate that we must all bear your petty hatred of men. If you don’t have the balls to brook our dissent, you can Fuck the Hell Off.
- Back for more! Masculinities and covid-19, continued | HBR Talk 169 - February 25, 2021
- UK considers making misandry a hate crime | HBR Talk 168 - February 18, 2021
- A look at feminist research on masculinities and covid-19 | HBR Talk 167 - February 11, 2021