Female Rapists Infographic

Typhoneblue, FranklyNo, Others,

This will be a bit of a ramble, but I hope it passes moderation, I’m happy to join in other discussion boards, and learn more about this and I don’t wish to cause any offence to anyone just add my story. I am a science graduate and am aware of the weight of anecdotal evidence. If it doesn’t fit here and would fit somewhere better, I’m happy to have it reposted as long as I’m informed.

Thanks for this, I recently became a male victim of rape, my assailant is likely to remain unknown and unprosecuted due the messy circumstances in which the assault took place. I will say that pretty much every person who I dealt with, from the Police (officers of both genders), Social Services (again mixed) Counselling, services (asides from the one who tried to get me to see them in a Church, this is a bullet I managed to dodge and another issue entirely) have all been fantastic.
It’s pretty awful but as I don’t know who did it, I’ve gone through some rather ‘social norm’ stretching what ifs. All of your blogs and related content have been invaluable, I never knew quite how stacked in women’s favour the whole crime is, at every level, this must infuriate the many people trying to help. I was fortunate in that I had male and female friends I could tell without being reproached and a general attitude of ‘dealing with shit’, being myself and not taking nonsense, also I’m an educated white male in the first world. Now I may be being glib, but if I’ve read up on this enough, it has something to do with inherent sexism in the patriarchy of which I defacto support and belong to, due a factor I didn’t choose (my biological gender) thus and the ‘logic’ seems weird, I’m an oppressor who effectively raped himself, I find this to be BS. I knew previously that I can be accused of sexual assault for being my day to day pleasant self, i.e polite to people mixed with a little friendly flirtation and the upfrontness to say ‘you look nice today’ to pretty much anyone. I had pretty much given up on the idea of human interaction and relationships anyway, especially the hetereonormative nonsense, that fails to notice that paying outright for sex and taking people out to dinner is identical to prostitution/renting oneself in varying garbs. This coupled with a suite of previous issues, and my own natural shyness means, I gave up on women years ago, then when feminism seemed to morph into a men = evil standpoint and holding doors for people or offering help was some ‘superiority’ gesture, and young women started collecting man points, whatever they are, I threw in my towel to the despair of fellow hitchhikers everywhere. The problem is: I’m not gay, I’ve tried, it was just a sexual thing and it isn’t fair to play with people’s emotions that way. I’ve always had a wonderfully mixed group of friends and acquaintances, of all stripes, backgrounds ethnicities, et al, so the saving grace is that as long as I have decent male friends and Lesbians, in my social world I have some company and affection, without all the nonsense of gender and sexual politics interfering with just hugging your friends and having a drink and a chat. It’s the serious relationships minefield, that I’m not up to navigating, any interesting things to read, general help in dealing the clearly skewed culture we have would be much appreciated.
I suppose the only advice I could offer is this; especially to other men who may have been through the same or similar experiences, is to come forward, be yourself and stick with it, you will probably loose friends, but what kind of friends were they if they didn’t help you out with something like that, anyway.

Thanks for your time,

John Smith

40% of rape victims outside of prison are men raped by women. 50% of rape victims inside prison, adult and juvie, are men raped by women. I don’t think it should have been noted on the infographic because it would cloud the point. I just felt that it was worth a mention.

The closest thing I can think of for that is this: http://www.propublica.org/article/boys-in-custody-and-the-women-who-abuse-them

Those comments in that thread are horrible (though sometimes balanced by the occasional gem).

Worse than the apologism (the worst instance inmy view was carnations claim that one of the victim’s stories you linked to wasn’t valid somehow because it was posted on avfm – way to silence someone who has made the difficult decision to share their story with others!) was Freja’s “moral positioning” and attempt at appropriation in her first post. Her later posts demonstrated to everyone that despite her attempts to make it appear that she cares for male victims she doesn’t give a shit, especially if you’re a victim who says something relatively inncocuous that she doesn’t like.

What a piece of work she is.

I’m glad Ally did something about Freja, though he did backtrack a bit on the Musing Moderation thread after she posted a couple of manipulative posts. I must admit she is very good at manipulation and deceipt. I think that’s why she adopts the argument style she does: arguing from her (really out-of-sync-with-reality) perceptions allows her to make any point she wants while sounding like she’s making some grand point to those who already agree with her. It’s also very difficult to argue against except to say “I disagree with your fundamental claim about societal norms and how people react/think about ‘such-and-such'” which just makes you look like you’re being difficult, and opens you up to “denying women’s experiences”. Like I said very manipulative and deceiptful and her posts shed no light on the topic being discussed, but it is all about “winning the debate” for Freja, hence why she ripped into that male rape victim for saying something about what it’s like to be a male victim that he didn’t immediately back with statistics. At least it exposed her, and her true position regarding caring about male rape victims.

Though as annoying as she is, and as much as I hate to defend her, in what way is Freya a “white supremacist name”? There’s obvious links to the Goddess in the blond haired, blue eyed Norse religion but I don’t see how that is in itself supremacist. Is it some US civil rights thing I’m unaware of?

As for Raging Bee he’ll be back. He gets off too much on acting superior to those he disagrees with, and he really does hate those who criticise feminism. Plus he’ll no doubt feel the urge to bring up the fact that he is “educated”, I have no idea what that’s all about; There are limits to my abilities in pop-psychology 🙂

It makes me sad to see heathenism so readily associated with white supremacists.

I used to be pagan; It’s sad to see the uglier stuff get the “front seat” on the bus. Especially since the exact same accusation gets lobbed against the MRM.

Denouncing the “bad ones” is a game of whack-a-mole. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Heathen, a Christian, a Feminist, or an MRA; There are thousands of locations where some idiot might be spewing hate in the name of your movement. You can’t catch them all. (Hat tip to http://permutationofninjas.org/ for playing whack-a-mole, though with outsiders, not doppelgangers.)

Probably better to do loving and valuable things in the name of your cause so that people can see the good actors. (This may be a problem for strands of Christianity that oppose self-promotion. I don’t think Heathens, Feminists, or MRAs will have that problem though.)

I seem to have strayed a bit off the topic. We return to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.

I really like reading an article that can make men and women think.
Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!