IT’S SHIT LIKE THIS, FEMINISTS – This Is Why Male Rape Survivors Don’t Come Forward (or Gendered Victim-Blaming)

Background: James Landrith was a 22-year-old active duty Marine 25 years ago when he showed mercy to the pregnant wife of a friend and sheltered her for the night, and then awoke to find her straddling him, with his penis in her, raping him. She threatened him with rape charges if he ever reported her rape of him. He knew he – a fit, young Marine – would have exactly zero chance of ever being believed, and even if her were believed, of ever having her rape of him regarded as rape. He was in the real rape culture, where women have unimpeded access and a full right to a man’s body.

He finally went public in 2008 and posted this article on his blog. Then it was picked up on Pajamas Media, a rather right-leaning group blog. The comments section became a cesspit of knuckle-dragging victim-blaming and sexist denialism, led by quite a few men, although one especially toxic commenter was a woman. Naturally his strongest supporters were female rape victims.

And just to prove there is no daylight between right-wing gender traditionalists and radfem gender traditionalists, at least on the subject of rape, this has kicked up again. This time the knuckle-dragging rape denialist man-haters came right after James:

Well, today I was treated to some of the worst victim-blaming I’ve received yet from rape denialists and self-appointed gender police. I’m so tired of this garbage. Why is this okay? Why is this tolerated? Why are so many people still pretending that this shit doesn’t happen to male survivors as well? I’m over being nice. I’m over tolerating the excuse-making bystanders and the colluders. I’m over all of it.

THIS * is why so many male rape survivors stay silent. THIS is why so many of our lives end prematurely and violently – especially those who deal with MST (Military Sexual Trauma). THIS is why most of us will NEVER tell ANYONE. THIS is why so many of us will never heal. THIS is why it appears that so many male survivors seem absent in the fight against sexual violence. Not only do we have to fight against the same victim-blaming from low IQ knuckle-dragging troglodytes that female survivors deal with regularly, we are also targeted often by women who have decided that men can’t be raped and if they are – then they are liars who must be bullied, mocked, harassed and shouted down into shameful silence.

* Yes, these links all go to James’ article. I couldn’t get to the sites he was linking to because of a filter issue but even if I had been able, go to his site anyway. He deserves the hits.

James continues:

I’m trying not to hate. I’m trying to calm down. It is going to be really difficult. I don’t know how successful that will be going forward. People are too damned evil and some of them are just plain worthless. Male survivors, just like our sisters in healing, have a lot of work ahead to fight these types of sick, disgusting, worthless excuses for humanity. For now, I’m just going to have to feel these emotions and try to keep on target. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not shutting up, but I am pissed off and beyond my levels of tolerance for disgusting asshattery right now. Please understand and let me breathe through it. I’m not sure how not to be pissed off right now. I need to accept that.

This all happens in a wider context of trivialization of male rape, smearing of male rape victims as liars, whiners, less-than-men or right on to accusing them of being the rapist in the rape, as John Markley catalogues here. How’s that for victim-blaming and rape denial and rape apology?

As John goes on to say, “Like many feminists, much of what Murphy says parallels traditionalist attitudes, but here mere parallel gives way to outright convergence.”

This is the issue for feminists: If these vile rape apologist articles are not representative of feminism, then feminists need to say more than “That’s not my feminism.” – much more. Because we are not talking about your precious feminism, we are talking about everyone’s feminism, the feminism of all feminists, and if this is in some way unrepresentative of the movement as a whole, then feminists need to say explicitly that this anti-feminist and that these people are anti-feminist, that they are not feminists at all. Anything less is solidarity with these vile, contemptible people if you still, despite failing to condemn them, call yourself by the same title they call themselves.

So far though it has been a womanist rather than a feminist who has been the clearest on the issue of male rape victims. Not a surprise, really.