Latest posts by Brian Martinez (see all)
- Badger Pod Nerd Cast 20: It’s Blowjobs, All the Way Down! - January 13, 2015
- Badger Pod Nerd Cast 19: Far Gone Girl - January 6, 2015
- Badger Pod Nerd Cast 18: Disgusting Abhorrent Pencils - December 16, 2014
No More blow-jobs! Circumcision will make men more potent lovers! Man puts up anti-feminist posters and it’s a hate crime! All these stories and more on the Polecat Cast! Tune in @6pm Eastern
Every Reason but the Actual Reason
By Max Derrat
The Economist put out an article last Tuesday, called “The Weaker Sex”. The article investigated why boys are currently lagging behind girls in global educational systems, and tried to determine what had changed from forty years prior when boys were outpacing girls.
The basis for the article was a report by the OECD, a Paris-based think-tank. It noted that even though there is gender parity in the sciences, and boys dominate mathematics, girls outperformed boys in reading in all 64 countries surveyed.
Later on in the article, the authors note that once boys are in the classroom, they long to be out of it. To people like us, the answer must be that the classroom environment isn’t the most fulfilling for a lot of boys and not the best way to foster their natural abilities. However, the OECD has a different answer. QUOTE: “… the OECD now urges parents and policymakers to steer boys away from a version of masculinity that ignores academic achievement.” But wait. It gets better. Ivan Yip, principal of the Bronx Leadership Academy in New York, offered his thoughts on the matter. In one quote, he says the following: “There’s a mentality that it’s not cool for them to perform, that it’s not cool to be smart.” In other quote he says, “Unfortunately there’s a tendency where they try to live up to certain expectations in terms of [bad] behaviour.” The most incredible thing about the article is that it dances around the most obvious reason that classrooms work better for girls than for boys… but never articulates that possibility. For example, the report notes that boys did better in anonymised tests than in teacher assessments… that their lack of self-discipline drives teachers crazy… and it even mentions the possibility that because women make up eight out of ten primary school teachers, and roughly seven out of ten lower-secondary teachers, they maybe… JUST MAYBE… might favour their own sex.
I suppose we should look to countries, where the gender gap in reading is relatively small, for inspiration. Maybe countries like Chile, Colombia, Mexico and Peru could teach us something.
Key to better sex? Circumcision! Men who haven’t got the snip should consider it if they want to improve their performance in bed.
According to the Daily Mail, a new study (with no citation provided) claims that men who underwent circumcisions saw an improvement in their sexual performance following the operations. In addition, these men stated that their sensation during sex also noticeably improved, even though the procedure results in the removal of highly erogenous tissue; an odd paradox to be sure. Overall, 360 men were surveyed in the study six months and twenty-four months after their circumcisions were performed. Of these men, 98% reported being happy with their operation, while 95% said that their female partners were satisfied after the procedure. (Of course, one has to wonder if these two particular metrics overlap, but I digress.) Finally, researchers found that 94% of the men were very satisfied or somewhat satisfied with sex afterwards, which was a slight decline from the normally reported value of 100%.
The Division of Shia: Part 3
By Mike J.
Shia LaBeouf’s interactive art exhibit, entitled “He Will Not Divide Us”, was meant to run for the next four years outside of New York’s Museum of the Moving Image as an act of resistance to President Donald Trump. The exhibit was an inexhaustible source of high-quality keks as 4chan’s army of trolls took to the streets to trigger Shia’s faithful flock. Unfortunately, due to on-site violence, mostly coming from Shia himself, the museum kicked out Shia and his exhibit. Undaunted, Shia moved the exhibit halfway across the US to the El Rey Theater in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The change of venue didn’t help Shia though as the violence seemed to follow the exhibit and quickly escalated. Reports of individuals brandishing firearms on-stream and a drive-by shooting less than a block away caused the closure of the exhibit for a second time.
In an attempt to carry on with the exhibit for a third iteration, Shia transmitted from an undisclosed location footage of a flagpole flying a flag with the words “He Will Not Divide Us” upon it. This was supposed to carry on for the next four years, but 4chan had other plans. Using weaponized autism, 4chan analysts began pouring over the stream of the flag for any clues of it’s location. Tips came in that Shia had been spotted in Tennessee. By tracking the flight paths of airplanes, mapping the stars, and listening for ambient noise it was determined that Greenville, Tennessee was indeed the location of the stream. By nightfall 4chan spec-ops moved into position and captured the flag, replacing it with a Pepe shirt and a Make America Great Again hat. All this occurred in just over a day. No word yet on what Shia’s next move will be, but you can be sure the 4chan will be watching on in anticipation, Kek be praised.
What’s More Stupid: Putting Up Posters Asking Women to Make You a Sandwich, or Having It Be Investigated as a Hate Crime?
By Max Derrat
Allow me to pose you this question, ladies and gentleman: what is more stupid? Putting up quote-unquote “anti-feminism” posters on your university campus that tell women to “make you a sandwich”, or having that act be investigated as a hate crime. While you ponder that question, allow me to go into greater detail about this very real event. Some hipster-looking dumbass put up some stupid posters on American University’s campus, the day before International Women’s Day. The posters display a picture of a man, dressed in a suit-and-tie and a haircut reminiscent of a 1950s style. Around the man is the following text: “Stop talking and bitching woman on March 8 and make me a sandwich (International Nags Day 2017).” Now, if that wasn’t unnecessary and pathetic on its own, American University put out a hate crime alert for the aforementioned hipster-looking dumbass. The University’s Provost and the Kogod School of Business Dean both put out statements saying that the university has no tolerance for “such hostility and disrespect” and that “we must stand together to overcome hate and ignorance.” In both cases, I think we can all agree that the thing that we should show no tolerance for is stupidity.
12 Compelling Arguments to Never Give Another Blow Job
Hanna Smothers, a contributor at Cosmopolitan.com, discusses female sexual entitlement using a series of “compelling arguments” for women to not give blow jobs to their men. The first (and probably most telling) reason being: “Deep within your heart… you know you can get oral without giving it. Whoever started the rumor that oral sex is an act of reciprocity was probably a dude, and he was definitely lying. If a dude won’t go down on you, dump him. If a dude refuses to go down on you unless you return the favor, dump him. A truly great man will go down on you forever and never expect a thing. Find you that man.” This is excellent advice from a woman who is clearly not a complete hypocrite. But despite this, Hanna also provides other insightful arguments, such as: “In this day and age, refusing to go down on a dude is practically part of the #Resistance,” and “Men are already having way too many orgasms anyway,” citing some sort of clear and present “orgasm gap” women everywhere experience despite being biologically designed to have multiple orgasms compared to a man’s, well, one. Finally, Hanna rounds out her list of excuses with: “Honestly, has he really earned it?” and “You’re saving this for an extra special, TBD occasion, which is certainly not now (and TBH, it’s probably not ever).”
Bonus Story: http://archive.fo/CZ4uE