Pre-Sex Crimes Are Here: Man Required to Report Sexual Activity 24 Hours in Advance

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Government invasion of privacy is about to reach a new low, according to according to an article from the BBC, as a North Yorkshire man is now required to report sexual activity to the police at least 24 hours in advance or face five years in prison. The magistrate’s civil order, acquired by the BBC, reads , “You must disclose the details of any female including her name, address and date of birth. You must do this at least 24 hours prior to any sexual activity taking place.” The kicker? The man was acquitted of rape after a retrial.

This would appear to be part of a new set of guidelines imposed in 2015 in England and Wales, which most likely is detailed in this document. According to the update of a 2003 Sexual Offense Act, a “Sexual Risk Order(SRO)can be made by a court in respect of an individual who has done an act of a sexual nature and who, as a result, poses a risk of harm to the public in the UK or children or vulnerable adults abroad. For a SRO to be imposed, the individual does not need to have committed a relevant (or any) offense.” In addition, “an SRO may impose any restriction the court deems necessary for the purposes of protecting the public from harm.” While currently the man is restricted under an interim order that will last till May, it is expected a full civil order will be made by police then and be in effect for at least two years, though it can be indefinite. Much like Gregory Alan Elliot, the Toronto father arrested for suspected Twitter harassment, there are also restrictions on internet and phone use for the Yorkshire man.

There are a number of unconfirmed reports that upon hearing the news, frightening pagan ritual celebrations were held by wild feminists in Hyde Park. An undisclosed reddit user uploaded a video, which has been deleted by mods, in which Laurie Penny and Kate Smurthwaite were seen giving thanks to an image of Darth Dworkin conjured from period blood and shrieking that the dark designs of the Lord Solanas are in full bloom. There are also reports that Queen Victoria is smiling in her grave. Weep, my friends, because humanity never seems to learn the damn lesson that restricting sexuality in ridiculous ways only tends to lead to more violence.

But perhaps it’s not too late. If you’re a resident of England, perhaps a polite condemnation of this ridiculous practice would be in order? You can contact The North Yorkshire police here.

Yukito Hoshino
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About the author

Yukito Hoshino

I was born and raised in the cold snowy wilderness of northern Japan, where I discovered a curious lack of compassion toward the male of my species and set out on my long journey to correct these perversions of justice. You can reach me at yukitohoshino@yahoo.co.jp

<span class="dsq-postid" data-dsqidentifier="154156 https://www.honeybadgerbrigade.com/?p=154156">7 comments</span>

  • Do you really expect me to believe that Laurie Penny knows anything about Star Wars?

  • ““You must disclose the details of any female including her name, address and date of birth. You must do this at least 24 hours prior to any sexual activity taking place.” The kicker? The man was acquitted of rape after a retrial.”
    He should disclose them on the wall of a restroom stall. That’s public enough to qualify, isn’t it?

  • What if a woman forces herself on him without his consent, spur of the moment. How exactly is he supposed to provide 24 hour notice in THAT situation.

  • Claim to wank daily and report the activity in advance as Rosie Palm , your age, your address. Drown them in their own damn paperwork.

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