I came across this open letter on reddit. I decided to answer back.
The Letter :
I’m a fellow MGTOW. And it’s mainly because women have never seen me as sexually desirable. I guess you could say I have extremely low sexual marketplace value.
The thing is, I literally do everything to better myself as a man (working out, martial arts, reading). I have a variety of hobbies and qualities that would make a man seem “interesting.” It’s just that my physical appearance never really gets anyone interested any further than the “friendzone.”
I’ve come to realize this. And now I just want your help. What can I do to get over the fact that I will never have female validation. It’s hard because most people in my friends circle are banging chicks left and right, or at least have a girlfriend. I’ve tried so many things but I always get stuck in the friendzone or “ignore-zone.” I’ve pretty much just given up. I think it’s better that way. I’m exhausted from trying to change myself just so that women will like me. I’m fucking tired.
What can I do? Please, I just want to be happy.
I will not say that you are MGTOW . You still have a long, long way to go to get there. With that said, I just have one question… Do you constantly seek approval from women? If so, then this is your problem. This is the reason of why you can’t get the girl.
In my opinion, guys like yourselves tend to fall into one of theses camps (or there is a mixture of both). “They don’t embrace their masculinity” and/or “They put women on a pedestal”.
Though there is still a possibility of other factors that will come into play, as to why men of this generation have found it difficult in dating. But, one of the biggest problem that these men face is the notion of radical feminism. Like it or not, radical feminism has led us as a society to a social climate that is extremely hostile toward men.
“All men are fuckimg pigs.”
“Men are the cause of all the problems in the world.”
“Men are rapists.”
“All men are good for nothing animals who treat women like pieces of meat.”
Therefore, boys concluded that women did not like men, so they strive to hide their masculinity. After all, men are pigs? And women don’t like that? So, don’t be a man, and you won’t be a pig and women will like that. Right? This is some fucked up secular reasoning.I can not blame them for this reason, cuz, what else can they conclude if this is all that they hear.
So, what is the outcome for this? Well, women in all walks of life have become extremely frustrated with the lack of ‘real’ men. They also seem to be getting upset with the radical feminism because after sampling the fruits of its labour and it is concluded that it is very bitter. I guess they forgot the natural order of things. Don”t mess with nature.
With the absence of male influence at home and at school, boys have been conditioned to look to women for definition and approval. This habit carries on to adulthood in the form of guys seeking approval from women.
Men like these, tend to see the women that they like and automatically put them on a pedestal, wondering what they can do to gain their approval. Maybe write them a 10 page love letter, or make them a mix tape, or shower them with expensive gifts, all in a vain attempt to gain her approval and win her love.
They do all this in the beginning of a relationship, hence having the quality of “coming on too strong, being too eager and not being enough of a challenge.” By doing these things from the very beginning, men silently imply that they are not good enough and must resort to other tactics to deem themselves worthy of women.
As a result, they spend their every waking moment, dreaming of how they can get the girl. They spend all their free time around the girl, going shopping with her, listening to all her complaints, sympathizing with the problems she is having with her boyfriend, all in a vain attempt to gain her approval in hopes that one day she will come racing into his arms. But the grim reality is that you and you alone have managed to place yourself in the friendzone.
It is time that you wake up and come to the realization that women are just human. They eat, breath, sleep, and go to the bathroom on a regular basis just like the rest of us. Women are not goddesses. They have the same insecurities (if not more) as you and I. There’s nothing different about them. They’re human. Stop thinking that you have to gain approval from them. You don’t.
The only person that should be giving you approval is you.That’s right. You. Life is short and you do not need to waste your time on memorizing pick up lines. You don’t need to psych yourself up to meet women. You don’t need to make a ton of money (unless you want tons of stuff). You don’t need to have a great job. You don’t need a fucking cool car. All you just need to be male. Everything you need is already inside of you. If you’re male, be male. If you’re female, be female. It should be that simple. Why hide it? When you can embrace it.
Be the best ‘you’ that you can be. Fuck the rest.
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