Anita’s rapey Christmas carols
Anita Sarkeesian’s 2011 video, “Top 5 Creepy Christmas Songs,” which details the horrors of tropes in Christmas music, has been making the rounds again recently, reminding us all that it’ll be very sexist of us to enjoy any cheerful, relaxing holiday songs this year.
You don’t have to be an anti-feminist to see the ridiculousness of that video, as YouTuber Chris Johnson demonstrated in a vlogged reading of her letter to Feminist Frequency shortly after the “Top 5” video came out.
A lot of what I’d have to say about “Top 5 Creepy Christmas Songs” is covered in Chris Johnson’s video, but there are two other points I would like to bring up.
I take issue with the feminist freakout over “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” Sarkeesian’s video, along with several other feminist sources, have proclaimed the song to be about date rape.
Written in 1944 by Frank Loesser and originally performed with his wife, Lynn Garland, at parties, the song-and-dance routine was a portrayal of a couple flirting. A 2010 Salon article titled “In Defense of ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’” described the scene as follows:
It’s late in the evening in winter, approaching the time it would no long be socially acceptable for them to be alone. She laments the societal mores that would tarnish her image should she stay too late; he provides possible excuses for her to use with her family, including, of course, that it’s too cold outside to walk home.
Following that is a description of how a misinterpretation of one line in the song has led feminists to mislabel it. According to modern feminists, the female singer’s line “Say, what’s in this drink?” indicates that her drink has been drugged. The back-and-forth flirting in the performance that accompanies the song, however, does not support that claim. As the Salon article points out, in context the line is more indicative of a woman using alcohol as an excuse to engage in behavior for which she would otherwise be harshly judged by others, making the song not about date rape but slut-shaming. At the routine’s end, the performers are in agreement, and the woman chooses to stay.
The song is innocent, but the hysteria over it and the other four of Sarkeesian’s top five is not. It’s an example of the way feminists frame information and other factors to falsely infer credibility on their demonization of men. The woman’s agency and her choices are totally ignored while the man’s are exaggerated to a superhuman level, as if by the very act of speaking he has rendered her incapable of self-determination. The hysteria becomes a melodramatic parody of actual rape: the woman becoming a helpless doll to be manipulated by the evil, predatory superdude whose very words pin her in place.
As Chris Johnson mentioned in her video, by stretching decidedly non-sexist music to fit her perspective, Sarkeesian has personified one of her own trope complaints: the crazy feminist who believes everything is a conspiracy theory. I also find it amusing to see the Queen of Damseling for Dollars basing her accusation against the song “Santa Baby” on the gold-digger trope, as if asking for things is always gold-digging. Is everyone who writes a Christmas list a gold-digger? Further, is Sarkeesian aware that by labeling asking for things “gold-digging,” she has just complained about herself? Between her display of hypocrisy and employment of hyperbole, Sarkeesian has wandered into the territory of Poe’s law.
[2014-10-28, 4:37:57 PM] AVFM RADIO: Call started
[2014-10-28, 4:40:35 PM] Hannah Wallen: I’m here, but I’m going to be AFK for a few moments. Bad allergies tonight, brewing tea.
[2014-10-28, 4:41:48 PM] Brian Martinez: brb
[2014-10-28, 4:43:41 PM] Typhon: gassss!
[2014-10-28, 4:46:42 PM] Hannah Wallen: Blaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg. :/
[2014-10-28, 4:49:11 PM] Typhon: Peter Harrington has made an inquiry: Dear HBR, A point I bring up about Anita Sarkeesian that no one else seems to is that if she wasn’t good-looking, and possibly because she is white, no one would care about her. One only has to look at the articles and photos of her to see that her looks are being played up.
[2014-10-28, 4:53:00 PM] Rachel Edwards: https://twitter.com/naughty_nerdess/status/527210882280210432
[2014-10-28, 4:53:31 PM] Hannah Wallen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpDnr2s9yxQ
[2014-10-28, 4:57:40 PM] AVFM RADIO: AVFM RADIO added Kristal D. Garcia to this conversation
[2014-10-28, 5:01:19 PM] Hannah Wallen: Rachel, you shit abuser! Shooting is violent!
[2014-10-28, 5:02:15 PM] AVFM RADIO: Lost your intros due to audacity fuckup, but started recording again on mention of first topic.
[2014-10-28, 5:02:27 PM] Hannah Wallen: I might have them.
[2014-10-28, 5:02:45 PM] Hannah Wallen: Yep, I have a recorder going.
[2014-10-28, 5:02:46 PM] Typhon: Don’t worry about it, Mike putting the ad on will cover it.
[2014-10-28, 5:05:32 PM] Typhon: After gamer gate lets talk about twitch.
[2014-10-28, 5:11:06 PM] Kristal D. Garcia: brb champagne
[2014-10-28, 5:11:15 PM] Typhon: cast in style kristal, cast in style
[2014-10-28, 5:11:17 PM] Brian Martinez: yummm
[2014-10-28, 5:12:12 PM] Brian Martinez: i would like to
[2014-10-28, 5:16:37 PM] Rachel Edwards: http://nerdreactor.com/2014/10/21/cosplayer-crowdfunds-for-breast-implants/
[2014-10-28, 5:16:50 PM] Brian Martinez: i know hat one!
[2014-10-28, 5:16:53 PM] Brian Martinez: that*
[2014-10-28, 5:16:55 PM] Typhon: sure
[2014-10-28, 5:16:58 PM] Brian Martinez: i follow her on fb
[2014-10-28, 5:17:04 PM] Hannah Wallen: done
[2014-10-28, 5:17:29 PM] Hannah Wallen: hannah
[2014-10-28, 5:20:04 PM] Typhon: Topic change!
[2014-10-28, 5:21:34 PM] AVFM RADIO: I fucking LOVE orgasmo.
[2014-10-28, 5:24:43 PM] AVFM RADIO: Including a cop who humps a suspect.
[2014-10-28, 5:25:40 PM] Brian Martinez: Good Samaritan, Inc.
[2014-10-28, 5:32:11 PM] Hannah Wallen: IRC chat died, I think.
[2014-10-28, 5:36:14 PM] Hannah Wallen: Used to be that extended families lived together, too.
[2014-10-28, 5:36:56 PM] Brian Martinez: i recant.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:00 PM] Brian Martinez: i pull out.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:03 PM] Brian Martinez: 😉
[2014-10-28, 5:37:14 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : I’m going to behave.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:20 PM] Hannah Wallen: You know, Brian, that’s how people become parents.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:25 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : BAHAHAHAHA.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:29 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : Hannah got to it.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:37 PM] Brian Martinez: I hope not!
[2014-10-28, 5:37:40 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : nope he pulled out.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:43 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : oh.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:45 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : he pulled back in.
[2014-10-28, 5:37:47 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : hahaha.
[2014-10-28, 5:38:04 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : Nice.
[2014-10-28, 5:38:22 PM] Hannah Wallen: THAT’s how you get Aunts.
(if you have a sister.)
[2014-10-28, 5:38:22 PM] Typhon: Topic Change.
[2014-10-28, 5:38:51 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : bahahaha.
[2014-10-28, 5:39:02 PM] Brian Martinez: i like to pull in AND out.
[2014-10-28, 5:39:05 PM] Typhon: Topic Change: Matrix.
[2014-10-28, 5:39:11 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : Oh my f.
[2014-10-28, 5:39:22 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : what matrix huh?
[2014-10-28, 5:39:30 PM] Brian Martinez: THE matrix.
[2014-10-28, 5:40:09 PM] Hannah Wallen: (y)
[2014-10-28, 5:40:36 PM] Hannah Wallen: There is no sequel…
[2014-10-28, 5:40:41 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : hahahahah.
[2014-10-28, 5:40:46 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : brb champagne refill.
[2014-10-28, 5:40:51 PM] Brian Martinez: hannah, its that thumb for my protate?
[2014-10-28, 5:41:02 PM] Brian Martinez: prostate
[2014-10-28, 5:41:20 PM] Hannah Wallen: If I did that for a living I’d be able to afford better video equipment.
[2014-10-28, 5:41:30 PM] Brian Martinez: brian
[2014-10-28, 5:41:59 PM] Brian Martinez: oh rachel, didyou finish readin the thing for the matrix?
[2014-10-28, 5:42:16 PM] Hannah Wallen: I’d just pipe up, Brian.
[2014-10-28, 5:42:26 PM] Rachel Edwards: what thing?
[2014-10-28, 5:42:39 PM] Hannah Wallen: He thought you were still giving the topic intro.
[2014-10-28, 5:44:18 PM] Typhon: topic change, me thinks.
[2014-10-28, 5:44:30 PM] Hannah Wallen: It’s like when you’re at a fireworks show, and you see a big trail go up from the launching pad and you’re like “This one’s going to be great!” and it turns out to be a dud.
[2014-10-28, 5:45:31 PM] Typhon: Rachel, we should move to the next topic.
[2014-10-28, 5:45:51 PM] Hannah Wallen: Always comes back to being all about the girl.
[2014-10-28, 5:45:53 PM] AVFM RADIO: Scott Pilgrim!
[2014-10-28, 5:46:27 PM] AVFM RADIO: You’ve gained the Power of Love! Which in all actuality did nothing compared to the Power of Self-Respect.
[2014-10-28, 5:46:59 PM] Brian Martinez: we should totes talk about scott pilgrim next time!
[2014-10-28, 5:47:02 PM] Typhon: okay, we got to move on.
[2014-10-28, 5:47:51 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : brb spawn feeding.
[2014-10-28, 5:47:54 PM] AVFM RADIO: At least upgrade him to Armiore…he was in Bill and Ted after all.
[2014-10-28, 5:47:57 PM] Hannah Wallen: I wanna see a movie where the female lead looks like she’s going to be a Mary Sue, then right after she does something totally kick-ass and is walking away looking all cool and shit she turns without looking and knocks over a rack of weapons or some other stupid thing like that.
[2014-10-28, 5:49:08 PM] Typhon: That’s also a mary sue trait… cute clumsy mary sue.
[2014-10-28, 5:49:12 PM] Typhon: instead she needs to fart.
[2014-10-28, 5:49:17 PM] Brian Martinez: adorkable.
[2014-10-28, 5:49:40 PM] Hannah Wallen: Or pick her nose. Second knuckle deep.
[2014-10-28, 5:49:54 PM] Typhon: that’s some dedicated nose mining.
[2014-10-28, 5:50:46 PM] Brian Martinez: anita?
[2014-10-28, 5:51:16 PM] Hannah Wallen: To get Anita, you have to subtract all the muppets, and add two gremlins.
[2014-10-28, 5:51:37 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : back.
[2014-10-28, 5:52:33 PM] AVFM RADIO: i’d be Gonzo.
[2014-10-28, 5:53:41 PM] AVFM RADIO: It’s not the spoon that bends….its your clitoris.
[2014-10-28, 5:53:50 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : omfg!!!
[2014-10-28, 5:53:51 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : hahahaha
[2014-10-28, 5:54:02 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : NO FUCKING WAY!!
[2014-10-28, 5:54:05 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : NNO!
[2014-10-28, 5:54:06 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : NOOOOO
[2014-10-28, 5:54:09 PM] Brian Martinez: yes.
[2014-10-28, 5:54:09 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : WHAT????/
[2014-10-28, 5:55:57 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : Kristal.
[2014-10-28, 5:57:35 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : hahahahaha.
[2014-10-28, 5:59:02 PM] evolmike: Mike (if we have time).
[2014-10-28, 5:59:39 PM] Typhon: we have to make sure james has time to digitize or what have you.
[2014-10-28, 6:00:25 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : how the hell could she find something wrong with ‘all I want for Christmas is you’????
[2014-10-28, 6:00:27 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : what the fuck???
[2014-10-28, 6:00:46 PM] Hannah Wallen: See, this is why I called the video an accidental self-parody.
[2014-10-28, 6:00:50 PM] AVFM RADIO: Folks…go ahead and wrap it up.
[2014-10-28, 6:01:49 PM] AVFM RADIO: Sing “I’ll be yur Best”.
[2014-10-28, 6:01:52 PM] Brian Martinez: sorry my dog was barking.
[2014-10-28, 6:01:56 PM] Kristal D. Garcia : haha.
[2014-10-28, 6:02:02 PM] Hannah Wallen: Your dog sounds adorable.
[2014-10-28, 6:02:06 PM] Brian Martinez: she is.
[2014-10-28, 6:02:19 PM] AVFM RADIO: Sing “I’ll be your Best”!!!
[2014-10-28, 6:02:45 PM] AVFM RADIO: I will eventually.
[2014-10-28, 6:04:22 PM] Brian Martinez: Dickopottumus.
[2014-10-28, 6:06:13 PM] Brian Martinez: Hippopenisus.
[2014-10-28, 6:07:42 PM] Brian Martinez: my dog wants out, brb.
[2014-10-28, 6:11:26 PM] Brian Martinez: im baaaack.by