Link: “A Safe Space for Thee but not for Me” – WendyMcElroy.com

http://wendymcelroy.com/news.php?extend.6066

This post is from the blog of Wendy McElroy; a Canadian Individualist Anarchist-Feminist. It was posted by her husband, Brad.

I have written a lot about the plight of nerdy/geeky men under traditional gender roles. In this article, Brad points out how (as I have pointed out before), male nerds are a victimized group. He points out how the “safe space” thing has only really applied to certain victimized groups rather than all victimized groups.

As for McElroy, because she’s an Individualist Feminist, she’s virulently against the establishment feminist movement and has written some of the most brilliant critiques of that movement and its methodology ever penned (indeed, her book XXX: A Woman’s Right to Pornography is published on her website and represents a fantastic attack on anti-porn, anti-sex feminists like MacKinnon and Dworkin).

Geeky men’s safe(r) spaces… video gaming, comics and the like… have been under siege. Not by women (geeky women have been part of geek culture ever since the beginning, although they have been a minority within it), but by feminists and “normal people” generally. I’ve written extensively about this in my article “Complaining About ‘Fake Geek Girls’ Is Not Misogyny.” I’m all for reducing the technological barriers to accessibility, but the remaining question is where will the real geeks go when ‘geek’ culture becomes reflective of the mainstream norms which they do not relate to?

Anyway, please read the linked article. Comment if you’d like.

My next piece for GendErratic has made substantial progress as well.

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  • Robert Crayle

    To be honest, the biggest push is by the group to which most feminists belong, the Post-Modernist Hipsters, whose only fun in life is controlling the current trends and fashions, and ousting anyone who disagrees, even if those in disagreement have no problem with including different viewpoints. It’s the sly inversion of trying to marginalise as much as possible in the category of “low art dragging down our wonderful potential” then claim that people with any objection to this are the ones being “traditionalist and bigoted” without anyone noticing that there’s nothing more puritanically traditional than the “race to the centre” of social warlording and building moral hierarchies of what is to be allowed. The shitty attacks on the insipid Sims knock-off “Tamagotchi Life” because it didn’t allow gay re;ationships is part of this. The people objecting to this shitty dogpiling on Nintendo were straw-armed into the category of “patriarchal bullying trad-cons”, by the bullies who proclaimed that Nintendo had goofed by not acknowledging a piece of the population.

    However the two main objections I can find to the caterwauling condemnation of this throw-away game were these:

    1) Game-makers are not beholden to the most cranky and shitty of their audiences any more than movie makers, song writers, novelists, or any other artist. They are aware gay people exist, just as they are aware people who think they are really other animals exist, who think they are several historical figures at once, and people who are married to a pillow. They don’t acknowledge these people either, for the same reason vector theory isn’t taught to people in schools: you start with the basics, lie to young people, and then reveal the complexities later. Tamogotchi Life is for young children. It’s why the subjects of “Sex” and “Sexuality” aren’t even mentioned, nor is “Bride” or “Husband”. Even gay children emulate their parents by having a “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” at pre-pubescent stages without any “social construct” telling them to. And Fuck You, Mr and Mrs “culture-is-a-conspiracy” Theorists.

    2)The only interesting thing about Tamagotchi Life was circumventing the strict partnering rules (simply by giving the men women’s names and vice versa) which actually reveals a stark and great universal truth: people really do find their way around arbitrary social rules set up for group survival if it means enough to them. Nowhere is this more clear than Japan, a stringent culture of shame. People really do find ways around these things – which completely flew over the heads of blubbery-brained, bloviating retards like Jim Sterling (Fuck you too, you limey bulging bully)

    Nothing matters more than “setting the tone”. They don’t care about “nerd spaces” like video games, comics, sci-fi, fantasy, science and math, etc…except than someone, somewhere is thinking about and exploring the universe without the Hipster say-so. These people are the epitome of degradation.

  • dungone

    I don’t think it’s a matter of “safe spaces”, since the subculture we’re talking about here is on the whole extremely tolerant and welcoming of everyone. Anyone who ever wanted to join in could do so, but you had to have a high tolerance for idiosyncratic personalities.

    Now, the second problem is that unlike “safe spaces,” we’re really talking about groups that are trying to become mainstream and build up mass appeal. Lots of us had informal groups of friends growing up who would get together after school to play video games, read comics, or whatever else is ostensibly considered “nerdy.” Those were the “safe spaces.” And to my knowledge, women are still wholly uninterested in participating in those groups. The problem only exists in the mainstream aspects of it, and to be honest I just don’t understand why anyone would consider a national comic book convention or something like that to be their “safe space”. If the hipsters want to take over that crap, let them.

  • Ginkgo

    “and to be honest I just don’t understand why anyone would consider a national comic book convention or something like that to be their “safe space”.

    This is an aspect of a wider and deeper problem – they expect the whole world to be their safe space. They want other people, and it is always on men to do this, to femmiform themselves and the whole world so they and their dainty sensibilities will never, ever be challenged or alarmed – unless they happen to want a little adrenaline buzz now and then, and then a Real Man will give them that.

    They feel entitled to have the whole world as one big theme park designed expressly for them.

  • dungone

    Well, I just don’t see it from either perspective, either the “nerds” or the feminist hordes. I don’t see how the “safe place” concept is being ruined for men, nor do I see how it fails to cater to women except in the sense that there is no catering to a feminist. You just can’t do it, no matter how hard you try, they will just make up something even more banal to complain about.

  • Ginkgo

    “You just can’t do it, no matter how hard you try, they will just make up something even more banal to complain about.”

    It’s the “mean bottom” power dynamic. Weaponized passivity.

  • http://www.avoiceformen.com The Real Peterman

    Thanks for thinking about my people, YetAnotherCommenter.

  • YetAnotherCommenter

    The Real Peterman,

    They’re my people too, if it helps.

  • SYABM

    @Ginkgo:
    >This is an aspect of a wider and deeper problem – they expect the whole world to be their safe space. They want other people, and it is always on men to do this, to femmiform themselves and the whole world so they and their dainty sensibilities will never, ever be challenged or alarmed – unless they happen to want a little adrenaline buzz now and then, and then a Real Man will give them that.

    They feel entitled to have the whole world as one big theme park designed expressly for them.

    Including men’s safe spaces, such as the controversy about SFU.

    http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/05/20/robyn-urback-on-shocking-anti-male-hatred-on-the-sfu-campus/

    One common retort to people pointing out the need for men’s shelter’s is “the whole world is men’s safe space!” Which does absolutely nothing to convince anyone who didn’t already agree with the speaker. And, of course, if it were true, men wouldn’t really have gender roles they had to adhere to.

    Another common retort is to accuse men of being “entitled”. The same men they claim have a responsibility to kowtow to feminist women’s beliefs, for the asking.

  • Ginkgo

    “Another common retort is to accuse men of being “entitled”. ”

    SYABM, I had a post about sly inversions and I believe I missed this one, unless it is just subsumed under the “male privilege” sly inversion.